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Thursday, April 21, 2005
Have you ever been so bored you could stare THROUGH walls?
Hey B whats up? I am soooooooo bored....my head hurts i am so bored lol...i was supposed to go to a church BBQ today but i think the date was changed....at least thats what i heard....so that kinda sucks...but i heard from my friend who is like more of a hook up than a friend and he said if you go to beatoz (sp?) tomorrow night this outta state indie rock band is playing...awesome its like $5 to get in too and you can mosh and whatever else you want...but anyway it should be fun cuz they are from san fransico or some shit so they should be good....I LOVE INDIE ROCK!!!!! and guess what else B ....I LOVE BRETT BRETTERSON :D lmmfao! anyway you should give me a call when you get around to reading this lol cuz i finaly got around to blogging again and obviously have not much to say..... you know i read one of the old blogs i left and it was something about the word answer and how there is no need for the W ....i am one interesting person i think...i wish i still had time to think about silly things like that lol....i am always taking life so seriously now...i think i am ganna try living life for the moment now....i am sick of trying to figure out what i am ganna do to be successful in 5 years lol....i want to just live for now from now on....anyway call me or blog when you get thins...later days home fry lol.
Posted at 08:22 pm by rivercityloser
Saturday, June 05, 2004
hey brandon...where you thining of Robert when you wronte that whole thing about not saying his name cuz you didn't think i would want it there? cuz if you were then go ahead and say it...i don't care...i think i am ganna give up on him cuz first he was all over nicole and now i hear he likes jessica so...whatever his loss...i can move on to focusing on my firend charles who i have liked all year but he has a lot of emotional stuff when it comes to relationships so...lots of work to do lol ( i have alread got him kissing me ;) oh yeah)....any way...
I got a lovely little lecture from aunt kimmy and aunt wendy...actually me, marcie, alisha, and jessica all got lectures because of our tank tops...they said they were too tight in to bust area but hello we all have BIG BOOBS and so no matter what our shirts are ganna be tight in our bust area unless we buy those over sized shits for 300 lbs people and then we would be basicly wearing night shirts...and aperently a few people were saying to aunt wendy that she should talk to us about our shirts...i dont know who but who ever there were, if you don't wanna see it then don't look...she also mentiond some stuff about being modest...well you know what i love my body... god made me this way and as much as i could stand to drop a few lbs i love my body and i am proud of it and i have no modesty...so oh well...I hate when people tell me how to act or dress..its just not right...i dont do that to other people and i dont expect them to do it to me...if i am wearing something thats not modest let me and go talk to the 12 year olds in the bowling alley wearing belts as skirts and tops that are ripped and saftey pinned back together...these are the things that make me dislike organized religion...maybe i will just read my bible at home and not go to church...brandon i think you might be the only one who would care...
so yeah anyway i am really tired so i am going to bed...night yall
Posted at 12:48 am by rivercityloser
Wednesday, June 02, 2004
Wow...I envy you Ashley, I Really Do...
I can't bring myself to that, i mean, i'll tell everyone that i love them, the Christian love...but i cant bring myself to tell Alisha how i feel. Its much more than being rejected, its about possibly losing a friend...and i oculdn't bear to not even have her there as a friend. And i don't want to wierd her out either... *sigh* i guess i'll stay melancholie.... *end sigh*
But you are so cool in what you are doing...telling everyone how you feel...thats gotta be tough....i know (TRUELY!)...but you know what? I am here for you! if you need help with anything, you know my msn and phone numbers, if you want you can come by my house, anytime, day or night, (you know where it is, now) you are always welcome. (and my rents wouldnt really care, as long as i explain a good reason to them later :P) So no matter what happens always remember you have a place to go!
:-)
And i love you too Ash, no matter what! :-D
So i dont know what we are going to do about our 50 year old hearts, with the fact that we are only teen-agers. There arent many that will understand the feelings we go through, we are too mature for most people our age to understand what we are going through....its like our mental ability is just naturally higher that most peoples (no offense to who is reading this, because if you are, the likely fact is that you have a high intelligence as well!) and they just scoff at us saying things like 'you wont really know those feelings until you get older' or 'its just hormones;. I say bullshit. Just because someone else doesnt expierience love until they are 30 doesnt mean i wont. or you wont. or anyone else wont.
Wow. Sorry i went on a rant there....
My feelings about Alisha, i am going to have to deal with. Sooner or later she is going to find out, wether it be me that tells her, or Nicole (*bigmouth...*), Jessica, You, or anyone else. She is going to find out eventually and i am going to have to explain it to her. And if that means ultimate and final rejection and loss of her as a friend, there is nothing i can do about that. I can postpone it, but it is eventually invetable,
Your feelings about whomever (i dont know if you want his name posted, so i wont) are going to be met as well. Someday somehow, its invetable.
Unless you are like the people in the email, who are too scared to tell anyone else or eachother...and they both die alone because of it.
I got that email too, hun (maybe it was you who sent it to me?) and i almost broke down reading it...it made me so sad i wanted to go punch someone. (dont ask me why, thats just the way i take out sadness, by punching things...) Come to think of it...i sent it to Alisha....it says 'forward this to 15 people you love' So i sent it to her, and only her. She is the only person that i love, like that, at least. I don't know if she has gotten it yet, or what she thought of it if she has, but i know one thing for sure.
Our Hearts are telling us these things for a reason. God puts those feelings there, and although the relationships may not work out, we had the expieriences for a reason.
So need to edit some HTML on the page, and go to bed,,,
I have 2 finals tomorrow, so i need to study too...
Luv ya,
Nite nite,
-Brandon
Posted at 09:51 pm by jadez03
Tuesday, June 01, 2004
ok, so today i was reading my e-mail and there was one that caught my eye...now its very rare that an e-mail catches my eye...esp. a fwd but this one did...it was about a guy who loved a girl all through highschool but never said anything because he "kenw" she didn't feel the same...then a few years later she died and they read her journal from high school where it said that she had loved him but "knew" he didn't love her...maybe you've read it...anyway it got me thinking about something that i have thought of a few times but have yet to take action on...well today i am going to...i have decided that i am going to tell people exactly how i feel about them from this day foward...now i dont mean that i am ganna tell anyone i hate them...its not like that...what i am saying is that i intend to tell the people i love that i do love them so that i will never have any regrets about it... i don't want to die knowing that some one i loved never knew... or have some one i love leave without them knowing i loved them... so yeah thats my new mission in life...to spread love....lol sounds kinda sappy i know but you know what...why not be a little sappy? i mean heck you never know when your number is up...no one knows when its all ganna end for them...so first of all Brandon you have been a great friend and i love you for that...for being there for me and putting up with my sometimes endless ramblings about robert and my sulking about my miserable life...you have made it a lot better... and i just want to say thank you...and i love you for just being you... and no matter what anyone else says or whatever you may think of your self you are a great person.
Posted at 12:56 am by rivercityloser
Saturday, May 29, 2004
last yesturday was chs graduation...i whent and cheered for anya, jessica, cc, viki, and all my other senior friends who are leaveing and then i whent to jessica and marcie's house for a party...it was cool i guess but i hate how everytimei try to hangout with marci i get ignored for tom....it kinda sucks but whatever i just hung out with jessica and chriss and debie and played blurt...it was cool...then at 11 i whent to the grad blast out at dimond mall...it was kinda nice we got to play lazer tag and eat pizza and go see movies all kinds of stuff for free...well it was $25 to get in but with how much stuff was going on...i put on some of those beer goggles and tied walking a straight line...it was kinda cool i guess but nothing like being drunk...then we had to fill out some stupid serve that made me feel like i belong in AA cuz i answerd yes to way too many questions than a normal person would...but whatever... i hung out with dana, brandon, and this guy travis the whole time...it was all good...me and dana did that q-tip fighting thing where you get on a platform and beat eachother with big long bag things and she smashed me in the nose...it still hurts...but i caught her in the chest on time real hard ans she had a knife in her bra so yeah she had a bit of pain going on too... but at least it was closed lol.... but yeah i didnt get home till 6 am and i some how managed to wake up at 10:30 and not be able to fall back asleep...i am so freaking tired but i cant sleep...i am watching breakfast at tiffany's right now...its a pretty cool movie...yall should watch it...its old school but good. any way i have to go vacume here soon before my parents get back and then i have to try to find something to do so i dont have to be home when they get here and start cleaning fish..yuck... peace people
Posted at 01:52 pm by rivercityloser
Tuesday, May 25, 2004
Ahh, Now I Do Not Think It Will Be Too Hard For People To Discern Who The Crackhead Is After Your Last Post...LOL...
I Do, In Fact, Think Pink Would Be The Best Color For You, And I Think It Would Look Cool. :D
I Will Bog About My Life Later...I have two essays to write... [insert sarcasm] Yippee! [end sarcasm] .....i need some release...!
...Go Buy (Or Download) This Album (Siamese Dream--Smashing Pumpkins) It kicks major ass...
-jadez03....
Posted at 06:33 pm by jadez03
Everyone go here...http://homestarrunner.com/tgsmenu.html cuz i love brett brenderson...
Posted at 05:59 pm by rivercityloser
crack head? what the hell you mean I'm a crack head...you're a fucking butt face man..i would never EVER do a drug named after a part of my ass...any way today was totaly bogus...I started out the freaking day by waking up at 635...6 min before i have to leave...i managed to get ready in 8 min...so as i am running down the street i watch the bus drive by so i had to try to race it to the next stop...IN SANDLES!!!! I caught it luckily cuz my mom said she was not ganna give me a ride to school anymore...which would be fine but i only have 2 more absences at kcc left so i am saving them for friday...my half day. and then at school i foprgot to do my english essay so now i have to do it anyway but i don't get points...i hate my english teacher the raving ho...andy way i got my extra credit in history cuz i dressed like a hippie and no one else dreesed for thier times so woo hoo for me...plus mr. katt the evil lizard king of the under world was not there so it was a lot easier...any way i have decided year books are stupid just like my school...and i hate them...i have not gotten mine yet but i am sick of signing them and i am only in there once anyway and it doesn't even look like me...so for all any one knows i didn't even go to this god forsaken school...thats alright though cuz chugiak sucks any way so i would be just as happy not going at all..i have been considering not registering next year and just dropping out...but im not sure.my friend has decided i should go on a date with her 20 year old brother because he is hot and 6'3" and 200 some odd pounds of pure muscle and also because then she wants us to get married so my last name could be hiphenated into lance-armstrong lol...she is so funny. so any way i am really bored right now and have no one to talk to cuz no one is online so...yeah...ooohhh brandon i got a question gfor ya...ya know how i have my short black hair...well i was thinkg about re dieing the roots and getting black and hot pink extentions...i think it would look cool...how bout you? i would have it 1/2 corn rowed in zig zags and the other half down and just braded.... i might get neon green though... or bright blue...not relly sure yet...anway i am ganna go now cuz i have nothing of interest to say...later
Posted at 04:20 pm by rivercityloser
Monday, May 24, 2004
dear jesus NOOOOOOO...ok i dropped my damn pick again...but i found it...any way what i came back to say is have you ever noticed the word answer is spelled really funny...say it with me now and sound it out ...ANS--WER...what is the w there for? arg it is unneeded...it has no purpose...it makes a funny sound...i think someone just threw it in there cuz they liked thje letter and you know what...that's just wrong...i mean i like the letter o but i dont just throw it in words because i can... you can't play favorites like that...how do you think er feels about that...knowing it wasn't good enough...i'm sorry but i have three words for you... LACK OF SLEEP...this is the effects...
Posted at 11:06 pm by rivercityloser
hey dude i did it...maybe i'm not and idiot blonde like every one tells me...woo hoo..even though that took me like ten min..but any hoo...i have nothing important to say...except that i have still not done my english essay and am ganna have to do it in kcc tomorrow or risk the rath of ms.T...the horendouse bitch... ah well i guess thats life.lol
Posted at 11:05 pm by rivercityloser
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