I can't bring myself to that, i mean, i'll tell everyone that i love them, the Christian love...but i cant bring myself to tell Alisha how i feel. Its much more than being rejected, its about possibly losing a friend...and i oculdn't bear to not even have her there as a friend. And i don't want to wierd her out either... *sigh* i guess i'll stay melancholie.... *end sigh*
But you are so cool in what you are doing...telling everyone how you feel...thats gotta be tough....i know (TRUELY!)...but you know what? I am here for you! if you need help with anything, you know my msn and phone numbers, if you want you can come by my house, anytime, day or night, (you know where it is, now) you are always welcome. (and my rents wouldnt really care, as long as i explain a good reason to them later :P) So no matter what happens always remember you have a place to go!
:-)
And i love you too Ash, no matter what! :-D
So i dont know what we are going to do about our 50 year old hearts, with the fact that we are only teen-agers. There arent many that will understand the feelings we go through, we are too mature for most people our age to understand what we are going through....its like our mental ability is just naturally higher that most peoples (no offense to who is reading this, because if you are, the likely fact is that you have a high intelligence as well!) and they just scoff at us saying things like 'you wont really know those feelings until you get older' or 'its just hormones;. I say bullshit. Just because someone else doesnt expierience love until they are 30 doesnt mean i wont. or you wont. or anyone else wont.
Wow. Sorry i went on a rant there....
My feelings about Alisha, i am going to have to deal with. Sooner or later she is going to find out, wether it be me that tells her, or Nicole (*bigmouth...*), Jessica, You, or anyone else. She is going to find out eventually and i am going to have to explain it to her. And if that means ultimate and final rejection and loss of her as a friend, there is nothing i can do about that. I can postpone it, but it is eventually invetable,
Your feelings about whomever (i dont know if you want his name posted, so i wont) are going to be met as well. Someday somehow, its invetable.
Unless you are like the people in the email, who are too scared to tell anyone else or eachother...and they both die alone because of it.
I got that email too, hun (maybe it was you who sent it to me?) and i almost broke down reading it...it made me so sad i wanted to go punch someone. (dont ask me why, thats just the way i take out sadness, by punching things...) Come to think of it...i sent it to Alisha....it says 'forward this to 15 people you love' So i sent it to her, and only her. She is the only person that i love, like that, at least. I don't know if she has gotten it yet, or what she thought of it if she has, but i know one thing for sure.
Our Hearts are telling us these things for a reason. God puts those feelings there, and although the relationships may not work out, we had the expieriences for a reason.
So need to edit some HTML on the page, and go to bed,,,
I have 2 finals tomorrow, so i need to study too...
Luv ya,
Nite nite,
-Brandon